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How do you know if you're doing too much? Hint: don’t look outside yourself for the answer. If it feels like too much, it is.

If you’re a competent high achiever, you’re used to getting a lot done. You put in extra effort to get great results because you can. Nothing wrong with that. But you can become a prisoner of your own standards.

When my father died a few years ago, I basically put everything on hold for months. I just didn't’t have it in me to do anything more than was absolutely necessary. This turned out to be a valuable experiment in just how much I could get away with not doing, and why that was a good idea.

I think the worst thing that happened was that I neglected to pay some bills on time. Everything else just bumped along without anywhere near as much input from me as I had been adding. Kind of illuminating!

I hadn't realized how much I was doing that was discretionary, as it were. It's not that these activities were useless, but it was good to be reminded that a lot of what I do is what I *choose* to do. Ergo, I can also choose not to do it.